Indoor Gardeners: Do You Have GADS? (Garden Attention Distraction Syndrome)
When I read Carol Michelâs book of gardening essays, Potted and Pruned: Living a
Gardening Life, I was relieved. I finally had a name for an affliction Iâve had since the age of
seven when I met and fell in love with a coleus.
It was the 1970s and there were houseplants everywhereâso it was in a drug store that I
spied the velvety, burgundy beauty. I bought it with my allowance and brought it home
where I taught myself to propagate. Many coleuses later, I branched out to oodles of other
houseplants.
By now youâre probably wondering if Iâm ever going to get back to GADS, which as far as I
can tell, just about every indoor gardener has. As a matter of fact, my reminiscing right now
and wandering away from the topic at hand is a symptom of this disorder.
This clever term coined by Michel stands for Garden Attention Distraction Syndrome
(GADS). As Michel says at the beginning of her chapter on GADS, âPerhaps youâve just
cleaned up your houseplants, and like a good gardener, you tossed all the trimmings and
the potting soil from that long-dead plant you finally decided will not revive itself into a
plastic tub to haul out to your growing compost pile. As soon as you step outside, you see a
giant weed and wonder why you never pulled itâĶ.â
If you only garden indoors, GADS will have you jumping from houseplant to houseplant.
One moment you may be repotting a pothos, but a trip to get pruning shears has you
sidetracked by a plant that looks like it might have mealybugs. And then thereâs the
dracaena thatâs leaning and the pink polka dot plant that needs pinching, andâyou get the
picture.
Michelâs book was inspired by the popularity of her long-standing gardening blog, May
Dreams Gardens. She found that readers enjoyed her humorous approach to gardening and
tongue-in-cheek revelations about the gardening life and the gardeners lucky enough to live
the green life.
The cover of the book is fashioned after early 20 th century books that had few pictures but
were full of useful information. âThe title of the book, Potted and Pruned, refers to how I
gathered some of my best blog posts, potted them up and published them into a book,â
says Michel.
Each of the 36 chapters in Michelâs book are chock full of garden humor. In Chapter 6,
âFrass,â Michel talks about how delighted she was when she discovered the meaning of this
word.
ââĶ Iâve been like a five-year-old who just learned a new word, a new cuss word. Frass is the
fancy word for insect poop. Once you know that word, the uses for it just boggle the
mindâĶfrass is a gardenerâs secret cuss word and has many uses. For example, imagine you
walk out to the garden and find that rabbits have eaten all the green bean seedlings again.
You can yell out, âFrass!â and no one will know youâve just cussed.â
Then thereâs Chapter 7, âMy Phases of Houseplant Care,â which will have you grinning and
giggling. Although youâll most likely have a jolt of GADS as you read and struggle to recall if
you watered the philodendron in the living roomâat which point youâll go to check, but
end up admiring an African violet thatâs budding upâĶ.Oh, GADS, here we go again!